Is My Child Too Easygoing?

Ashma Gomber

This is a guest post by Ashma Gomber. Ashma is currently working with Hewlett Packard India. She is an electrical engineer by profession, an avid reader and a loving mother.



I am sure most of us have wondered from time to time “Is my child too easy going”. Well, I can say that we are not alone in having this sort of feeling every now and then. We feel that our child is not motivated enough to strive for the best ranks, tops scores academically.


Whenever my 8 year old does not get an A1 grade in some test, she is extremely quick to point out that so many of her class mates got a B or C grade and how she is better off with an A2. However, who did better than her has to be extracted out of her. My husband and I are always left wondering why she is happy with less.

We all know very well that, in the technologically advanced world that our children live in, they have many more distractions that we had in our schooling days. From a single “Mickey and Donald” show for kids on Sundays during our days, they have multiple 24 hours channels for kids, ipads and video games etc.

In addition, the current generation of parents  are much more aware and more ambitious for their children than our parents were. Each parent of course would like his/her child to excel in academics, music, sports so on and so forth. Just this thought makes me feel burdened when I think of those tiny shoulders on which we tend to put the weight of our expectations.

After discussing this issue, with many friends and parents, I feel till a certain age it is okay for them to be laid back and take things at their pace. We as parents should try to give them the space and the means to enrich their knowledge, expose them to different areas of interest during these formative years. It is particularly beneficial to boost their morale by appreciating them for their little and big achievements and also for their efforts.

Instead of being “Tiger” parents that we unknowingly tend to become let us just enjoy their childhood. Teaching them the good values, enriching their repertoire of experience, expanding their horizon and focusing on their individuality.

When the time comes for them to channelize all their efforts into academics in later years of school, that is when we truly need to focus on this aspect, and hopefully they will be mature enough to understand the link between hard work with focus and success.

Until then, I just tell my daughter to put in her best in whatever she does, without worrying about the results.

(Image credit: Flickr User SanShoot)

1 comment

  1. So true. It’s like you have spoke all mother’s heart out here. We all know this challenge however, we still get carried away by the pressure and start expecting these from our kids. It’s high time we don’t snatch there childhood and allow them to grow naturally.

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